If you really knew me

There's been so much negativity running through my skull lately, I draw a blank when attempting to find any sense of what it all is.

In my life I've stepped on a lot of toes so to speak. I've had things stolen from me, I've stolen things out of spite. I've talked shit, in regards of having shit talked about me. But no more. I have decided to LOVE, everyone, to not spread hate and anger, but to spread understanding, and compassion. There is enough hate in this world, enough negativity cycing around. But I've decided, no longer.

If you really knew me you would know how harshly I criticize myself. How often I stare in the mirror running over all the petty things I hate about myself in my mind. How bad I feel sometimes when I feel like no ones cares about me, because I know I'm only thinking about myself, and that I'm not seeing all those people whom honestly love me so much more than I can understand. If you really knew me, you would know how selfish I feel wanting something good for myself even if other people around me are hurting. You would know that I still hate being who I am, the way I am. If you really knew me, you would know how badly I want to go back to doing things I used to, the drinking, getting high. Back when things were easier. But I've changed.

If your reading this, I would like to ask you to do something for me. End the cycle, be LOVE. Even through all the hate and negativity thats out there. See beyond it.